This week I had the
opportunity to have a conversation with a professor who is leading a diversity
conference for K-12 teachers at her university.
As a teacher with cerebral palsy (CP) she invited me to share about how
my school experiences as a student have impacted me personally and professionally. Our conversation was an opportunity to
reflect on the true significance of a seemingly ordinary experience.
Generally, I have always
felt a responsibility to be a source of hope for others. There’s no doubt about it, the challenges of cerebral
palsy (CP) are real. It’s definitely much easier to simply highlight
joy than to confront the uncomfortable emotions. There are very few who know about my fears
and frustrations--- knowing those emotions means you’ve earned my trust. It’s always been a personal rule; radiate as much joy as possible! It doesn’t mean my struggles are less it
just means I decided that people don’t need to know.
So, when this professor
asked me what going to school with CP felt like my response shocked me: It was extremely emotional! I’ve always
portrayed school as a joyful place and that’s not entirely true. It’s a place where I learned to regulate my
emotions. It could’ve been dodging the laughter or stares as I navigated the
hallways. It might’ve been struggling
to stay ahead with AP History readings or math problems because of learning
disabilities. There was always a need to
be brave. If you are identifiably
different you find yourself constantly fighting against it--- even if it’s not obvious
to others.
In his book, The Courage to Teach Parker Palmer
writes, “ The phrase be not afraid doesn’t say we should not have fears…. Instead, it says, we should
not be our fears.” The more I reflect on my journey the more
powerful these words become. As teachers
students come to us with fear (or uncertainty) all the time. I can’t promise that every student’s fear
will disappear in my classroom.
Nonetheless, it’s become abundantly clear that so many teachers helped
me turn fear (or uncertainty) into joyful possibility. The people who were
kind enough to walk through fear with me are the reason I have the opportunity
to teach.
The need to be brave might be a constant
feeling for me but, at some point everyone will face it. It is a privilege to help the world see that
that fear doesn’t have to paralyze you; it can propel you…. Sometimes, you’ve just got to go for it!
Joyfully,
Teacher Julie
