LOVE OUT LOUD!

A few weeks ago, I started attending a local church.  The congregation   meets in a local elementary school.   The fact that we meet in a school fascinates me.  My pathway to teaching has been a long and bumpy road.  Yet, I’ve been given the gift to continue my education, serve  students in a Christian ministry (and several other places), substitute in both catholic and public schools, and now I get to meet God on Sunday in a school!  This helps me understand that my love for teaching and learning is understood.

One thing that sets this congregation apart from others is that we are  arranged in a circle.  This helps create a sense of belonging --- even if you’re new like me.  Last week  Pastor Michael  welcomed us to church and then explained the significance of the circle.  His words were simple yet deeply profound.    “Remember, we are in the circle to receive God’s love for us and then give that love and encouragement to the people around us.”   As he spoke I reflected on the significance of sitting in circles.

My first summer out of college, I was as an intern with UrbanPromiseCharlotte.  It was a summer that rekindled my spiritual journey and redefined JOY!  At the end of the summer our teens, interns, and staff gathered to share our prayers and the burdens of our hearts---- a prayer circle.  Creating a circle for this purpose can be overwhelming for teens or an intern who is reconnecting with God.   In fact, for a solid minute nobody spoke.  I looked around the room thinking: “ These teens are amazing and have given their whole selves to reaching young children everyday all day, all summer! I also hate silence.   Then, I spoke,  “I’ve graduated from college and don’t really have any plans.  I’m sort of nervous about that!” I stopped and then, the first student raised his hand to share his heart, and, another, and another, and another.   Giving a little bit of myself as mentor helped these students understand that they were loved no matter what they shared in the circle. 

 My students don’t know this but it is on that day in that circle that I decided I would keep trying to be a teacher.   It’s as simple as this.  I cant ’t expect my students to reach their potential if I  am going to give up on mine.   I was in that space all summer to receive God’s love and to understand that I was a teacher --- even if it didn’t look like the image I had created.  

Since, I began my journey as a graduate student it has been a privilege to belong to the circle of this community.  Each time I visit these extraordinary group of students they remind me that there is only one way to conquer adversity.   It is to LOVE the world around you--- even when you feel forgotten, misunderstood, or silenced.  Belonging here has taught me that individual hardship can collective be turned into love and joy!

This week members of the UrbanPromiseCharlotte  community honored me with Strength to Love Award.   I’m ever grateful for congratulations and recognition.   Still, it’s a funny thing when those who gave you a place to do what you love recognize you!   In his introduction of the award the presenter (one of my greatest mentors) mentioned my strength to walk in the face of fear and simultaneously provide heartfelt words of encouragement to those around me.     “If you’ve ever received an encouraging note from this person; he prompted the crowd raise your hand. Her notes are amazing!” (That’s when I figured out he was giving me an award). He ended by  sharing my dream to become a teacher.   Yet, in that moment, I knew that I had accomplished my greatest goal : LOVE OUT LOUD….  It’s the only thing that keeps the world moving!  If people matter to you LOVE and ENCOURAGE them intentionally.

Love is ---

·       The young girl who stops to quietly step out of her line from ballet class to give you a hug!

·        The young girl who struggles to read but wants you to read with her.

·       The young boy who struggles to read but thanks you for bringing BOGGLE because he really had fun in reading class today!

·       The teacher on your hallway who remembers it’s your first day of full time teaching   and takes time to write you a card when she has a thousand other things to do.

·       The teachers who read and leave encouraging words on your blog posts!

·       Love is the gift GrandMom sends a gift  in the mail for no reason!

·       Love is getting an e-mail from the site director of an after school program who wants to check to see that you’re alight even though she manages far more kids than you! She’s someone I admire very much!

·       Love is listening to young children share their dreams in front of a room full of strangers!  

·       Love is recognizing the one thing some did right rather than critizing the nine things they did wrong!

 

Achieving The Impossible

This week I took the lead in the classroom for the very first time.  It’s still slightly overwhelming for me to reflect on this experience.   I am so grateful to those that promised I would do something meaningful in the world even if I had to work harder and wait a little longer!     Here’s a story to share.

As a student with cerebral palsy, I have always used accommodations in the classroom.  I need more time to read, write, and solve equations. It’s a basic rule that it takes me double the amount of time it would take the average student to complete any academic (or daily task.)  It’s just the way my life works.  The last time my need for accommodations was evaluated, I was entering my first year of undergraduate studies.   I met with the doctor who administered a series of test for over about a four-day span.  The objective of the test was to measure my academic ability.   This meant that each day the skills she asked me to master became more difficult---- Some of them academically impossible given my cerebral palsy.  On the second day we met she looked at me and said,  “ Julie, I’m amazed at what you have achieved…. and I’m not sure how you’ve done it.  I looked at her and saying, "Thank you, I have a strong support system and knowing them means I can’t give up!”

By the third day we met I left her office crying. I was mentally exhausted and discouraged.  I felt like I had failed.   On the final day we met, she asked me how I was.  I said fine but, in the middle of the last testing day, I stopped.   “I can’t do this anymore,” I said unable to hold back my tears. She looked at me and said, I know this  is hard. These tests are designed to prove that your accommodations will help you.”

At the end of the four-day testing period the doctor complied my results and wrote a detailed analysis.    Most pages are full of numerical data but I noticed that she had written a note about her analysis.  It said,  “Julie’s weakness should be interpreted with caution because they might underestimate her potential.” Her note made me smile becuase she knew I was determined! 

 Teaching this week was hard! Still, it reminds me that trying my best will often lead to achieving what once seemed impossible!  Sometimes, it’s hard to wait but this story is proof that investing your time will help you reach your goal.   I am teaching and SO proud!

 Believing in the impossible might help make it possible!  

When The Going Gets Tough.....

My pathway to teaching has been simultaneously amazing and overwhelming.   It’s been about a month since I officially began my journey as a student teacher.  The classroom has always been my comfort zone but right now, I seem to be stuck in the “I’m scared” part of the journey.  I have waited so long to impact the world as teacher that I’m afraid to make a mistake.

 Last week I shared this “I’m scared” feeling with a mentor hoping she’d share her wisdom.  My mentors never let me down.  She suggested that I take tangible items to school that remind me of the people who inspire me.  “Hold onto them when the nervous butterflies won’t go away, she said.

 As a junior in high school I was invited to share my story of overcoming obstacles in the classroom (and my dream of becoming a teacher) with a group of middle school teachers.

My hosts gave me a gift bag. In the bag was a pin that represented their Jonsen’s Renaissance theme for the school year… “There’s No place Like Home “ Belhaven Renaissance I’ve pinned my Renaissance pin to  the  lanyard  that I wear each day.  It was attached to piece of paper that reads:

 Points to Ponder:

 WE HAVE TALLER BULDINGS but shorter tempers

WE HAVE MORE CONVINCES but less time

WE HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE but less judgment

WE HAVE FANCCIER HOUSES but broken home

WE CLEAN OUR AIR but pollute our souls

WE TRAVEL TO THE MOON but not to our neighbors

WE ADD YEARS TO OUR LIVES but not life to our years

Tomorrow I will take the lead in my classroom for the first time.   I need to be brave because teaching tomorrow means that WE beat the odds!  I consider   teaching with cerebral palsy a gift! Tomorrow (and each day) I CELEBRATE Renaissance!    I CELEBRATE courage and compassion.   This is a  story of people who care and that is what I remember when the going gets tough!